December 28, 2012 by jannie123
Have the following ever happened to you:
You feel anxious because the guy didn’t return your call or text message. You wait by your phone hoping it will ring. You try to keep yourself busy but you know the guy is still on the back of you mind. When it finally rings, you jumped off your feet only to find out it was “just” a text message from your friend, not the guy you were waiting for… Now you feel even more disappointed…
You don’t know where the relationship is heading. You feel as if the guy holds the card to your future. You hold on to the hope that he will change one day. You are at his mercy. You walk on eggshells. You carefully choose the words that you say around him and always act nice and sweet because you think it will make the guy see how great you are and finally drop the wall and commit to you…
Which anxious face are are you? 😦
My heart was broken many time before. I remember always falling for the unavailable guy. The more difficult the guy is, the more exciting he is. It was my mission in life to change him. I want to be that special girl that changes his world. I want him to drop all his fears and obligations and declare his love for me. However, it is this very thought that led me to become increasingly anxious. I analyze everything that I would do and say around him. It was as if one wrong word or action will cost me my ticket to live happily ever after. It was not a good way of life. I feel miserable all the time. I was always on edge. I feel uneasy all day long. I miss my carefree days and am secretly hoping that I would stop being so stubborn and maybe … just maybe… I could set aside my ego and just …. let him go (Gulp!)
It is completely natural to feel anxious. I don’t think there is any magic portion to change the way you feel. But just as it is possible for your dream man to make you laugh after a long stressful day, you can also do something to make yourself feel better! It’s not hopeless. Here are some of the things that I do to get over moments of anxiousness. Please let me know if you have other methods as well.
1. Talk and hang out with your friends
Talk to people who make you feel good. You know you can feel in your heart who your real friends are. Don’t just dwell in your problems. You can certainly vent about your worries and concerns but change the subject after awhile. Talk about something that you both find funny, talk about other people, and best of all, do something together. Do something that will help you get your mind off the guy, even if it’s just temporary. Remember, anything you do is better than crying in bed. So you should give yourself a pat on the shoulder even if you have just simply made it out the doors and spend time with good friends.
Look for friends who will be there for you when the rain starts to pour
2. Think about your looks
It is well documented that stress or anxiety leads to psychical diseases. One study claims that chronic long term stress can age your face by a decade. So NO, you don’t have a choice to be stressed and worry. No guy should take precedent over your looks. Just think, you frown when you are unhappy. If you hold that frown for long enough, you are going to be a frown line. (I noticed a frown line between my brown when I was 24 since I have had so much relationship problems…). As women, our looks are important to us. Like it or not, we naturally feel better about ourselves when we are fit and beautiful. So tell yourself this: these anxiety is causing me to age. Then take a deep breath and relax.
Meditation is powerful stuff and it really helps you to relax. I found I feel really good when I focus on all the positive things. It’s like taking you mind on a vacation. It’s hard to get started as our mind are cluttered and we have many different thoughts. But do give it a try. If needed, try one of the guided meditation video on Youtube.
Something like this will really take you over and make you feel relaxed.
There are some really good apps that were designed to help you relax as well.
Relax & Rest Guided Meditation. – $0.99 Cents
This is one that I use. I love listening to it and imaging all my stress melting away. The wonderful effect of meditation does last for quite some time.
4. Work Out
So we all know that working out helps your body to release endorphins, a chemical that helps you feel good. You will feel more energized after a workout. Working out also improves the way your body looks, which will also make you feel better about yourself. When you are fit and firm, you can wear any clothes that you want. Personally, it is hard for me not to work out. It was difficult to begin with at first, but I noticed a difference in my body after working out for just…. 2 days! I immediately noticed my thigh getting firmer and even my friends have noticed. That was enough motivation for me to keep going. I find working out as a great stress buster after a long day.
5. Find something you are passionate about
The first day that I broke up with this guy, I was devastated. I did not want to get out of bed. I just want to cry in bed. After a day of crying, I feel gross about myself. I got up and looked at the mirror for the first time, my skin broke out, my face was puffy, and my eyes were red and dry. I did not like what I saw. I know I had to shift gear and do something about it. I cannot let it consume me. This is why I started this blog. I feel my experience can help other people who are also going through this heart wrenching experience. Even if I couldn’t help one person, I’ve found an outlet to express my emotions. I am doing what I can do let go of pain and hurt. You can too. Do something and focus your mind on one thing at a time. When you’re at work, focus at your job. Make it impossible to think about the man in question. When you are driving, don’t let your mind wander. Focus on the road condition or sing along with the radio. Be in the moment. When you see the guy popping up in your head, send him off with a “Hadouken”!
Yeah, don’t even let him come near you!
So, my dear readers, I hope some of the suggestions are helpful for you. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. There is nothing good about the stress. I know it is not easy, and this is why I am writing this blog. I’m pouring my love and heart out to more productive area, not to the guy who doesn’t deserve it! We can do better!
Lots of Love,